


The Pegasus Galaxy Gift Registry

by havocthecat



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alien Marriage Ritual, Community: sg_rarepairings, Dirty Talk, Exhibitionism, F/M, Het, Humor, Marriage, Masturbation, PWP, Sarcasm, Snark, Voyeurism, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-21
Updated: 2007-11-21
Packaged: 2017-10-02 12:19:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havocthecat/pseuds/havocthecat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"So here we are." Cadman sheds her backpack and the rest of her field gear, then flops back onto the bed to pull off her boots and socks and toss them on the floor. "Husband and wife."</i>
</p><p>Laura and Lorne have to get married in order to track down a ZPM in Pegasus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pegasus Galaxy Gift Registry

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://community.livejournal.com/sg_rarepairings/39823.html) on LJ.

The room is bright and airy, with windows leading out to balconies. They face fields full of crops that are bordered by large metal structures. Some look like towers, and some look like intricate lacework inset with stained glass. It's not glass, though. It's too strong for that; it doesn't break, not even in the high winds and during the storms that Orriche is known for. When Sheppard's team had visited, McKay instantly pegged them for Ancient buildings. Unfortunately, after first contact, Sheppard's team was unable to investigate further, due to local customs and taboos. At least, that's what the official report that's going to Earth - and the IOA - says.

Dr. Weir's vehement urging for Evan to 'not offend the Orrichaneans by insisting they're too incompetent to differentiate Ancient technology from their asses' is still ringing in his ears, as is Teyla's firmly-voiced agreement. Evan's basically not thinking about McKay's almost wistful look, or the jealousy that was coming from Sheppard's gaze. His back still aches from where Ronon clapped his hand on it, bared his teeth in a fierce grin, and told Evan not to do anything he wouldn't do.

Evan thinks Ronon took to that Earth saying a little too well.

The curtains are some kind of silk-like gauze. Teyla's able to identify things like this in a heartbeat, and Evan wishes she were here so he and Cadman would have some kind of guide to what to expect. As it is, they're working blind. But they're working blind in a _damn_ nice room, with a four-poster bed, a couple of chairs, and a bowl of fruit set on a very nice table that's got a thoroughly reg-breaking selection of oils in hand-blown glass jars.

"So here we are." Cadman sheds her backpack and the rest of her field gear, then flops back onto the bed to pull off her boots and socks and toss them on the floor. "Husband and wife. Sucks that there's no Pegasus galaxy gift registry."

"I don't think any registry is gonna list the kind of ordinance you and I would ask for." Evan chuckles as he takes in the room's layout. "Tell me again why we're the two that got stuck getting married?"

"Because the Orrichaneans won't let unmarried people into the big, scary Ancient temple." Cadman rolls over onto her stomach, feet kicking idly in the air. She looks casual, but her eyes flicker around the room, taking in all the details. "Kids don't get to go on a danger-laden ZPM quest, and unmarried here equals kid. Or did you not read the anthro report we got from Teyla?" She smiles toothily at him.

"I don't know, Cadman, do I ever bother prepping for a mission?" asks Evan. His voice is bone dry, meant to be quelling, but Cadman just keeps grinning. She's only gotten worse since spending time in McKay's body. Evan stows his gear in a corner, and sits down on a chair near the foot of their bed. "Next time, Yamato and Coughlin are getting married."

"Doubt it. You want Dr. Weir to get that pinched look she usually gets when she has to explain Pegasus customs to the IOA? Plus Sheppard could just sign us up for extra training time with Ronon. You ever notice he does that to whoever gives Dr. Weir a migraine?" Cadman shrugs, and Evan has a hard time not noticing her tongue flickering out to lick at her lips. "Besides, Yamato and Coughlin make totally unrealistic gay lovers."

Evan has to think about that for a minute. "They've got that burly thing going on," he says.

"But not that gay burly thing," says Cadman. She snickers, and Evan gives her a skeptical look. "You have no gaydar, Lorne."

"Straight men usually don't," he says, then controls a blink of surprise when Cadman bolts up into a sitting position.

"Shit, you're straight?" she asks, then looks smug. "God, do you know the betting on you being gay is running fifty-fifty right now? I could make serious money off that information. If you help me win, I'll cut you in on a share of the profits."

Evan wonders absently if he could talk Sheppard into holding a bunch of courts martial over an illegal betting pool on his sexuality, then dismisses the idea. Neither of them want to bring military justice to the Pegasus galaxy. He'll just get some information from Cadman and make a few marines' lives hell. "Who thinks I'm gay?" he asks.

"That's not as important as who people think you're secretly sleeping with." Laura smirks at him. "Half of them think your staff meetings with Sheppard are you two getting each other off, and the other half think that you and Dr. Weir have a thing going. Storage closets feature prominently in many women's fantasies."

"I think I hate you," says Evan. "What are you, a direct conduit to the fantasies of all the women on Atlantis?" Which could be damn useful. How is it he never knew that before now?

She winks at him, slow and steady, and leans back on her hands. "Women are kinky. What, you never learned that?"

"_You_ I expect to be kinky," says Evan. He's heard way too much of her not-so-internal dialogue to expect anything else, after all. "But how many women have been having fantasies about me making out with Sheppard and/or Weir in the storage closets?"

Her knowing smirk tells him that he really shouldn't ask. "So you think I'm kinky?" Cadman tosses her hair back, and Evan likes the challenging look in her hazel eyes. He's liked it a little too much for a while now, which is why he didn't want to get married, even if it stopped counting once they went through the 'gate. "Because I'm betting you're not as straitlaced as you seem. Even if you are straight."

"Vanilla sex is boring, Cadman." Even if he's running on a long enough dry spell that he'd welcome anything, even some nice, boring, missionary position sex right now.

"Share." Laura draws the word out salaciously as she scoots back on the bed, leaning against the headboard. She lets her legs splay out in front of her, and crosses her arms under her breasts. Which, yes, Evan often pretends not to notice. "Tell me all your fun kinks, Lorne."

They're _not_ having this conversation. Except they are. Cadman may be a junior officer in his chain of command, but she's a seriously hot junior officer in his chain of command, and they just got married. Plus there's supposed to be proof they've consummated the union before they get let into the Ancient temple. Two people with the ATA gene, Ancient temple, potential unused ZPM that's been promised to them as a wedding gift.

"Come on," urges Cadman, when Evan is silent too long. "Or are you chicken, flyboy?"

"You wish, Marine," says Evan, scoffing. He doesn't back down from a challenge, and if the honor of the United States Air Force demands dirty talk, then who is he to complain? "I could tie you up." The thought of Cadman, naked and tied spread-eagled on that bed, is going to fuel Evan's fantasies for days.

"No good," says Cadman. Evan thinks he can see a flicker of interest in her eyes, though. "Mostly because I could tie _you_ up and do things with my mouth that would have you seeing double."

"I don't like being tied up." Evan slides down in the chair and leans back, pillowing his head on his hands. "I'm way too bossy to be a sub."

Cadman nods knowingly. "I think they train it out of us in Officer's Candidate School. Damn. Do you know what a bitch it is finding a good sub when most of your potential lovers are military?"

"Yeah, I know," says Evan. He really does. "So what else you got?"

"Exhibitionism," says Cadman bluntly. "You lean that way?"

"Voyeur," says Evan, and that's _definitely_ a flicker of interest in Cadman's eyes now. One corner of his mouth quirks up in a grin. "Too bad you didn't bring a friend along."

"Hit me up for that another time, maybe," says Cadman, and he can't tell if she's serious. She takes a deep breath, hesitates, then forges on. "Wanna watch me solo?" So, yeah, apparently she's serious.

Evan's cock goes from partially interested to holy-god-it's-about-damn-time in half a second, but he doesn't leap onto the bed and start tearing off Cadman's clothing with his teeth like he's tempted to. He doesn't even stutter as he says, "Do I look like I'm dead?"

"In this galaxy?" Cadman reaches for the hem of her shirt and tugs it over her head, revealing a six-pack and firm, muscled arms. Also a navy-colored push-up bra. He can see the dark skin of her nipples through the lace. "Wouldn't be surprised if we run into zombies one of these days. I think we've run into just about everything else."

"You know that by saying that, you've just guaranteed there will be zombies in the temple," says Evan. His eyes are glued to Cadman's breasts, and her breathy chuckle says she's noticing.

She traces her fingertips along the line of her bra before sliding the one of the straps down her shoulder. "You're such a goddamn pervert, aren't you?" asks Cadman, and she's really not wrong.

"Says the woman who's stripping in front of me." Evan's voice is lower, but he's still deadpan as Cadman reaches behind herself and unhooks her bra, letting it fall off her arms. Her nipples are puckered and taut, and look like they're just aching to be taken into his mouth.

"I notice you like these." She's cupping her breasts in her hands, and rubbing her thumbs slowly across the nipples. Cadman arches into it, her mouth open in a soft, wordless sigh.

"You've got nice tits, Cadman." Evan's hard now, and the show's still getting better.

"Are you kidding?" Cadman meets his eyes and smirks. "I've got _amazing_ tits." She slides one hand down her stomach and unsnaps her pants. Her hand slips under matching blue lace panties, and he can't see anything but the shifting of fabric.

Evan presses the heel of his palm against his cock. "Need help with those pants?" he asks casually.

Cadman's cheeks are flushed, and her hair is disheveled as she nods. Her hand is still buried down the front of her pants, working slowly, and she rolls her hips once.

It's easy enough to lean forward and over her. Harder not to press her onto the bed as he tugs the pants down. Evan lets the backs of his fingers brush against Cadman's hips before he slips the gray pants off her legs.

She groans, and the sound of it jolts through Evan. "It's been forever since I've had a good fuck," mutters Cadman. "Gonna give it to me later?"

Evan drops her pants into a puddle of fabric on the floor and settles back into the chair. She's got her hands out of her panties, and she's hooking her thumbs in the waistband, tugging them slowly down her legs. Two of her fingers are glistening and wet, and Evan wonders what she would taste like if he drew them into his mouth.

He slides his hand down the length of his cock, resisting the urge to push up into his hand.

Cadman kicks her leg up, flipping her panties into his lap. "So that's a yes?" she asks, laughing.

She's naked now, and Evan flicks his gaze over her whole body. "As hard as you want it," he says. The room smells like sex, like Cadman, and he's breathing her in.

Dark eyes stare back at him as Cadman settles back against the headboard. She draws her legs up, so her knees are at her chest, then lets them splay apart. Evan can see her cunt. She's spread open for him; pushing her fingers back inside. She's arching up off the bed, her mouth open wide.

He wants to be inside her. Cadman is moaning now, fucking herself on one hand, her fingers rubbing furiously at her clit as she's coming. Their eyes are locked, and she subsides, panting heavily. "As hard as I want it, huh?" she asks, grinning. She jerks her head, gesturing to the bed. "So come here, flyboy. Show me how much thrust you've got in that thing."

***

"Fuck, Cadman, zombie Ancients?" Evan's dialing the 'gate, breathing heavily. His sleeve rides up to reveal the ceremonial marriage tattoo the Orrichaneans inked on him after their expedition into the temple. More like a temple complex, really, with underground tunnels and abandoned medical labs.

"Yes, Lorne, fucking zombie Ancients that no one wants to fucking deal with!" snaps Cadman. She cradles her knapsack to her chest. "Which is why we got stuck with it."

They both have the ATA gene, so they were the only ones on the entire damn planet who could shut down the equipment animating the zombies. "At least they're dead now." Evan tugs his sleeve down, and tries not to think about Cadman's matching tattoo.

Cadman snickers. "They were already dead," she says. "Have you or have you not seen any zombie movie ever produced in the past fifty years?"

Evan's not going to dignify that with an answer as he keys in his IDC. Mostly because he suspects that any answer he gives is going to result in a sudden search throughout Atlantis for enough film for a zombie movie marathon.

"One ZPM, coming right up." Cadman grins over at him. "Rodney's going to bitch up a storm he wasn't there to get it."

"Right up until we tell him about the zombies," adds Evan. They walk up to the 'gate and then pause, as Cadman turns to face him.

"So. According to Orrichanean tradition, we're married as long as the tattoos endure." Cadman's got a challenging look in her eyes. "You mind?"

Evan really hopes she's not going to kick him in the balls or something for an honest answer. "Not really," is all he says.

She grins. "Good."

Well. That's that, then. They step through the 'gate, and Evan's trying to figure out just how he's going to explain all of this to Dr. Weir.

\--end--


End file.
